A candle is not a biblical requirement
Candles and lamps appear often in Scripture. God instructed Israel to keep a lamp burning in the tabernacle, and Jesus spoke of his followers letting their light shine before others (Exodus 27:20; Matthew 5:16). Yet the Bible never connects lighting a candle with the condition of a person who has died.
So there is freedom here. If lighting a candle helps you pause, remember a loved one, or bring your sorrow before God, it need not be wrong. But it is not a spiritual duty, and the candle itself has no power to change someone’s standing before God.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
What happens after death?
Scripture speaks seriously about death and God’s judgement. Hebrews says that people die once and then face judgement (Hebrews 9:27). In Jesus’ story of the rich man and Lazarus, the divide after death cannot be crossed by human effort (Luke 16:26).
That means we should not treat a candle, a prayer, or a ceremony as a way of controlling what happens to someone after they die. Their life is fully in the hands of the just and merciful God. He knows every hidden thing, and he judges rightly.
Christians differ about prayers for the dead
Some Christian traditions light candles alongside prayers for those who have died, seeing this as an expression of love and entrusting them to God. Other Christians believe prayer should focus on the living, since the Bible does not clearly instruct believers to pray for the dead. This is one area where sincere Christians have reached different conclusions.
Whatever a church’s practice, Scripture warns against trying to contact or seek guidance from the dead (Deuteronomy 18:10-12). Remembering someone is very different from attempting to communicate with them. Grief can make us long for one more conversation. God meets us tenderly in that ache.
A better place for your grief
You can bring your loss directly to God. Thank him for what was good in the person’s life. Tell him what you miss. Ask him to strengthen the people left behind. Jesus himself wept at Lazarus’s tomb, even though he knew resurrection was coming (John 11:35).
For Christians, grief is real, but it is not empty of hope. Paul wrote to grieving believers in Thessalonica so they would not sorrow as those without hope, because Jesus died and rose again (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14). A candle may mark a moment of remembrance, but the lasting light is the hope God gives through Christ.
But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.